Saturday, January 9, 2010
2009
As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.
--Henry David Thoreau
The first half of 2009 is hard and hopeless. I am like a tower of blocks built too high, swaying, ready to tumble down unless someone reaches out to balance it and to start removing blocks until stable.
If something needs to be done, I do it. Egocentric as all humans, I expect others to do the same. When they don't I harbor resentment.
At this point, my life is anything but simple. I am a mother of two, masters degree student who works full time. At both home and work I have taken on too much.
At work, we lose the person who takes care of lunch. So I step in. Pick up lunch from another high school 10 miles away, set everything up, serve, clean everything up, and return the dirty dishes. Not only does this take time away from my regular duties it is dirty and physically hard to lift heavy bags of foods, and becoming a "lunch lady" physiologically damages me. Teachers help as much as they can, but we are so short staffed.
The janitors think a school only needs to be cleaned once per week. I do not like dirty places, and we are trying to recruit new students. So each morning I get to work early to vacuum, to clean tables, and to get away from home.
The economy is slow. Funding for education is cut and schools have a hiring freeze right when I am ready to apply for jobs. I apply for dozens of jobs all over the country. The one interview I land, the library director explains that he has 40 highly qualified applicants. The library field was overflowing with qualified applicants before the budget cuts, now jobs are few and far inbetween. I will graduate with a master's degree and I spend my time cleaning up after people.
Greg has no work. Time to work on the house, but no money. Time to work on other projects but no desire. The dark cold winter always brings him down. I am the stabilizer & motivator, but have no energy to play this role. I need his help, but when I return from my night class at 9:30 pm the kids still need help with their homework, the dishes are piled in the sink, and the house is a mess. I try to convince him that there are other ways to contribute to a family besides financially. We fight more in a few months than we have all the previous years of our marriage combined. We are hopelessly lost in the fog of discouragement.
Just at the point of scrounging coins to buy milk... we get a call from someone wanting to purchase artwork. Amazingly so in this slow economy when we haven't done any of the money required ways of promoting art that we have done in the past.
Just at the point of finding every excuse not to go home, Greg and the kids step up and start doing their share of the cooking and housework.
Just at the point of complete blindness in the dark of despair, the sun breaks free for an early spring. The bulbs, crocuses first, pop up their colors with the promise of warmth of renewed hope, and of perseverance. Spring flowers are a reminder to me of the forgotten beauty.
Slowly, Greg starts to line up jobs. When not working he finishes the utility/workroom and starts laying the stone veneer on the house. This is a labor intensive job that only requires the purchase of mortar. The mortar is mixed in a large tub with a hoe to the consistency of cake batter. It is good work to rid the body of despair. Outside in the fresh crispness of spring you create your own heat working every muscle: the arms, back, stomach, and legs in the mixing and lifting and the mind in the puzzle of fitting rocks together like a pattern. We start landscaping. Greg acquires cuttings from friends and jobs he does for others. To work in the dirt, to plant that seed or cutting which turns into a living thing of beauty is my healing pastime.
I do not find a librarian job, but work improves. A new janitor is hired. Someone else is assigned to pick up, set up, and clean up lunch. I teach one computer technology class in addition to my admin assist duties. I love teaching, even though I am spending many weekend hours in preparation creating lessons and grading. I enjoy seeing students progress and what they teach me. I enjoy the challenge of behavior management and the reflection of "what could I do better". I feel that I am playing a more valuable role than that of lunch lady and this improve my physiological outlook.
Money is still tight, but we have enough. We insulate the house with R-19 insulation in the walls and R-30 insulation in the ceiling. Then we start to sheet rock. Amazing how covering the walls makes progress seem vast and the end finally seem possible.
--Henry David Thoreau
The first half of 2009 is hard and hopeless. I am like a tower of blocks built too high, swaying, ready to tumble down unless someone reaches out to balance it and to start removing blocks until stable.
If something needs to be done, I do it. Egocentric as all humans, I expect others to do the same. When they don't I harbor resentment.
At this point, my life is anything but simple. I am a mother of two, masters degree student who works full time. At both home and work I have taken on too much.
At work, we lose the person who takes care of lunch. So I step in. Pick up lunch from another high school 10 miles away, set everything up, serve, clean everything up, and return the dirty dishes. Not only does this take time away from my regular duties it is dirty and physically hard to lift heavy bags of foods, and becoming a "lunch lady" physiologically damages me. Teachers help as much as they can, but we are so short staffed.
The janitors think a school only needs to be cleaned once per week. I do not like dirty places, and we are trying to recruit new students. So each morning I get to work early to vacuum, to clean tables, and to get away from home.
The economy is slow. Funding for education is cut and schools have a hiring freeze right when I am ready to apply for jobs. I apply for dozens of jobs all over the country. The one interview I land, the library director explains that he has 40 highly qualified applicants. The library field was overflowing with qualified applicants before the budget cuts, now jobs are few and far inbetween. I will graduate with a master's degree and I spend my time cleaning up after people.
Greg has no work. Time to work on the house, but no money. Time to work on other projects but no desire. The dark cold winter always brings him down. I am the stabilizer & motivator, but have no energy to play this role. I need his help, but when I return from my night class at 9:30 pm the kids still need help with their homework, the dishes are piled in the sink, and the house is a mess. I try to convince him that there are other ways to contribute to a family besides financially. We fight more in a few months than we have all the previous years of our marriage combined. We are hopelessly lost in the fog of discouragement.
Just at the point of scrounging coins to buy milk... we get a call from someone wanting to purchase artwork. Amazingly so in this slow economy when we haven't done any of the money required ways of promoting art that we have done in the past.
Just at the point of finding every excuse not to go home, Greg and the kids step up and start doing their share of the cooking and housework.
Just at the point of complete blindness in the dark of despair, the sun breaks free for an early spring. The bulbs, crocuses first, pop up their colors with the promise of warmth of renewed hope, and of perseverance. Spring flowers are a reminder to me of the forgotten beauty.
Slowly, Greg starts to line up jobs. When not working he finishes the utility/workroom and starts laying the stone veneer on the house. This is a labor intensive job that only requires the purchase of mortar. The mortar is mixed in a large tub with a hoe to the consistency of cake batter. It is good work to rid the body of despair. Outside in the fresh crispness of spring you create your own heat working every muscle: the arms, back, stomach, and legs in the mixing and lifting and the mind in the puzzle of fitting rocks together like a pattern. We start landscaping. Greg acquires cuttings from friends and jobs he does for others. To work in the dirt, to plant that seed or cutting which turns into a living thing of beauty is my healing pastime.
I do not find a librarian job, but work improves. A new janitor is hired. Someone else is assigned to pick up, set up, and clean up lunch. I teach one computer technology class in addition to my admin assist duties. I love teaching, even though I am spending many weekend hours in preparation creating lessons and grading. I enjoy seeing students progress and what they teach me. I enjoy the challenge of behavior management and the reflection of "what could I do better". I feel that I am playing a more valuable role than that of lunch lady and this improve my physiological outlook.
Money is still tight, but we have enough. We insulate the house with R-19 insulation in the walls and R-30 insulation in the ceiling. Then we start to sheet rock. Amazing how covering the walls makes progress seem vast and the end finally seem possible.
Compromise
His singleness of purpose and resolution, and
his elevated piety, endowed him, without his knowledge, with perennial youth.
As he made no compromise with Time, Time kept out of his way, and only sighed
at a distance because he could not overcome him.
--Henry David Thoreau Walden
Thoreau writes this beautiful story about living purely, no compromises. But once again, Thoreau was not married.
Compromise is the basis of marriage.
If you look at the root words, compromise can be seen as beautiful.
Com:
a prefix meaning “with,” “together,” “in association,” and (with intensive force) “completely,” occurring in loanwords from Latin (commit)
Promise:
1. a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc.
2. an express assurance on which expectation is to be based
3. something that has the effect of an express assurance; indication of what may be expected
4. indication of future excellence or achievement
Compromise=together excellence
Almost always, when someone learns we are building our own house... something that takes all our spare time and money, has taken years and is still not close to being complete, they say "I don't know how you do it. My spouse and I can't even pick a color of paint without getting into a huge fight."
I see the doubt in their eye, the questioning of their own marriage and that is the last thing I would ever want to raise thought of.
We live in a society that has a focus on finding your soul mate, your true love.
Greg is my soul mate & true love, but that doesn't mean marriage is easy. That doesn't mean that we always agree, in fact I think it would be terrible to always agree with someone.
Greg and I have similar tastes and expectations and we are both fairly easygoing personalities... except for when we really want something or strongly believe we are correct. Time has taught me that when we disagree it is usually because we don't understand and that when we come to a compromise it is better than either of our individual ideas. Greg is visionary, I can't always picture what he has in mind. I am practical. I want what is easiest and best for the long term. Together, we can create something that is beautiful and functional. It has taken experience to learn this. At the beginning of our building project, Greg would listen to my ideas, then do whatever he wanted. Sometimes I had a "Oh that was what you were talking about" moment, but I still felt unimportant, unheard. Other times, like when he put a window in the kitchen right where I wanted the fridge, I made him redo it for the practical necessity.
We have learned to agree before any big project. It once took months before we came to an agreement on the roofing. Greg wanted slate, to conform to his vision of blending in with the natural setting. Slate is way out of our budget. I wanted green metal roofing. Practical and affordable, also looking at green metal roofs makes me think of the hillsides in spring. Of the first warm day when you take off on your bike in the liliac sented air, the sun soaking into your skin melting away the winter. That is a moment of pure joy. Greg wanted the roof to blend in, and that green state is so brief. We compromised on stone colored metal roofing. I will look to the neighbors green roof and one day when the roof needs replacing, maybe we can afford slate. We both ended up happy with the result, even if it took months to get there.
For any of you that have been to our land and seen a strangely unfinished project, it is probably because it is something that we have yet to agree on.
True compromise takes the best of two people to create the best result. It is not always possible, and sometimes someone must give in. To have someone give up something they really want for you is the ultimate act of love and commitment and that is what true love is all about.
his elevated piety, endowed him, without his knowledge, with perennial youth.
As he made no compromise with Time, Time kept out of his way, and only sighed
at a distance because he could not overcome him.
--Henry David Thoreau Walden
Thoreau writes this beautiful story about living purely, no compromises. But once again, Thoreau was not married.
Compromise is the basis of marriage.
If you look at the root words, compromise can be seen as beautiful.
Com:
a prefix meaning “with,” “together,” “in association,” and (with intensive force) “completely,” occurring in loanwords from Latin (commit)
Promise:
1. a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc.
2. an express assurance on which expectation is to be based
3. something that has the effect of an express assurance; indication of what may be expected
4. indication of future excellence or achievement
Compromise=together excellence
Almost always, when someone learns we are building our own house... something that takes all our spare time and money, has taken years and is still not close to being complete, they say "I don't know how you do it. My spouse and I can't even pick a color of paint without getting into a huge fight."
I see the doubt in their eye, the questioning of their own marriage and that is the last thing I would ever want to raise thought of.
We live in a society that has a focus on finding your soul mate, your true love.
Greg is my soul mate & true love, but that doesn't mean marriage is easy. That doesn't mean that we always agree, in fact I think it would be terrible to always agree with someone.
Greg and I have similar tastes and expectations and we are both fairly easygoing personalities... except for when we really want something or strongly believe we are correct. Time has taught me that when we disagree it is usually because we don't understand and that when we come to a compromise it is better than either of our individual ideas. Greg is visionary, I can't always picture what he has in mind. I am practical. I want what is easiest and best for the long term. Together, we can create something that is beautiful and functional. It has taken experience to learn this. At the beginning of our building project, Greg would listen to my ideas, then do whatever he wanted. Sometimes I had a "Oh that was what you were talking about" moment, but I still felt unimportant, unheard. Other times, like when he put a window in the kitchen right where I wanted the fridge, I made him redo it for the practical necessity.
We have learned to agree before any big project. It once took months before we came to an agreement on the roofing. Greg wanted slate, to conform to his vision of blending in with the natural setting. Slate is way out of our budget. I wanted green metal roofing. Practical and affordable, also looking at green metal roofs makes me think of the hillsides in spring. Of the first warm day when you take off on your bike in the liliac sented air, the sun soaking into your skin melting away the winter. That is a moment of pure joy. Greg wanted the roof to blend in, and that green state is so brief. We compromised on stone colored metal roofing. I will look to the neighbors green roof and one day when the roof needs replacing, maybe we can afford slate. We both ended up happy with the result, even if it took months to get there.
For any of you that have been to our land and seen a strangely unfinished project, it is probably because it is something that we have yet to agree on.
True compromise takes the best of two people to create the best result. It is not always possible, and sometimes someone must give in. To have someone give up something they really want for you is the ultimate act of love and commitment and that is what true love is all about.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
2008
"I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society."
--Henry David Thoreau
Thoreau lived two years and two months in a 150 square foot cabin.
We had now spent more time building than Thoreau even lived at Walden Pond and 150 square feet would just not work. We had more needs and different aims.
First of all, we plan to live in this house for more than an experiment and the space needed for a lone man just doesn't work for a family of four.
Also, Greg is an artist. This house is not just a shelter, it is a piece of art, a sculpture. It is not a box, but a form of curves, angles, and slopes that blend with, show case, or imitate nature.
The house covers 1200 square feet of ground in a "L" shape with a 400 square foot basement and a 200 square foot attic, and one and a half baths.
The house has been designed for winter solar gain with only one window in the workshop/utility room on the North side, French doors that open onto a porch on the West side, small windows that will catch the breeze and the morning light and a door that will open onto a patio on the East side, and large windows and a recycled sunroom on the South side.
All our windows and doors were salvaged, recycled, purchased on clearance or as misorders; the beauty of building yourself. We used salvaged triple pane sliding glass doors, turned on their side for the South facing windows in the basement bedrooms, then created tiered window wells. The rooms are full of natural light. I love having a basement that is not dark and gloomy... electric lights will not be needed as long as the sun shines.
The kitchen and dinning room both have large South facing windows, the living room has the South facing sunroom glass with a 12 foot ceiling. The North walls will be bookcases, a library that leads to the basement.
The attic has one East and one West window and will hold a bedroom and a sewing/studio room. We got a great deal on the trusses because they were a misorder. The room has a low ceiling and required a change in the house plan, but it worked out perfectly for what we needed.
The basement is storage, a media room, and two 10x12 ft bedrooms. My daughter thinks this space is too small. I ask her, "Too small compared to what?" Thoreau's entire cabin wasn't much bigger than the space assigned to her room. She is comparing to her best friend's room. A friend that lives in a mini mansion in a gated community. Every time I pick her up or drop her off, I feel trapped as I wait for that gate to open to release me. Give me large spaces outside and small spaces with large windows inside. The dining room window is a 6x6 foot square that looks out on rolling pasture and the distant Wellsville Mountains. It is like a landscape painting the changes with the seasons. It will be interesting to see how many years pass before this view is gone by the progress of man.
This year we built stairs, put in the windows and doors, and got the plumbing and most of the wiring done.
Greg has friends who are fellow artisans working for themselves, they share their muscles and knowledge when needed, but most of the work (except for the roof raising)is completed solely by Greg with my weekend assistance.
2008 was for the most part a year of health and happiness.
I acquired a new boss, who brought many changes to our school. Charter schools are generally founded by a visionary, out-of-the-box thinking individual, who wants to create a dynamically different approach to education. Many times, these type of individuals have no clue about finances. A principal of a charter school is a CEO of a business as well as a director of education. It is a huge job, and our founding principal, like many other charter school principals, wasn't good with numbers. When the Board of Governors realized our school was quickly approaching bankruptcy, our founding principal "retired", and a teacher stepped up to act as principal until a qualified replacement could be found.
We lucked out and hired a guy who had a MBA and three years experience as a charter high school principal in Salt Lake City. He studied the finances and made major changes, the only way to save the school. We had a big beautiful expensive building. With same changes, we could function in half the space, sublease the other half, and save thousands of dollars in rent each month. One things that had to go was the school library, the Ameri VISTA positions, and all support staff but the special ed aides and one secretary who would need to take over the assignments of the four positions that were not being replaced. The school secretary had just had her first child, and decided to quit working and stay home. I then became the full time secretary, and even though the job I was going to school to become qualified for was gone, decided to continue with the program that I completely enjoyed and was half finished with. I managed to save the library in a greatly reduced state by moving it into a large corridor like hallway, which quickly became known as "Library Hall". Students would bring books to the office where I would check them out and use USU's library for research. This honor system library was better than nothing, it was used frequently, and we lost fewer books than I anticipated.
--Henry David Thoreau
Thoreau lived two years and two months in a 150 square foot cabin.
We had now spent more time building than Thoreau even lived at Walden Pond and 150 square feet would just not work. We had more needs and different aims.
First of all, we plan to live in this house for more than an experiment and the space needed for a lone man just doesn't work for a family of four.
Also, Greg is an artist. This house is not just a shelter, it is a piece of art, a sculpture. It is not a box, but a form of curves, angles, and slopes that blend with, show case, or imitate nature.
The house covers 1200 square feet of ground in a "L" shape with a 400 square foot basement and a 200 square foot attic, and one and a half baths.
The house has been designed for winter solar gain with only one window in the workshop/utility room on the North side, French doors that open onto a porch on the West side, small windows that will catch the breeze and the morning light and a door that will open onto a patio on the East side, and large windows and a recycled sunroom on the South side.
All our windows and doors were salvaged, recycled, purchased on clearance or as misorders; the beauty of building yourself. We used salvaged triple pane sliding glass doors, turned on their side for the South facing windows in the basement bedrooms, then created tiered window wells. The rooms are full of natural light. I love having a basement that is not dark and gloomy... electric lights will not be needed as long as the sun shines.
The kitchen and dinning room both have large South facing windows, the living room has the South facing sunroom glass with a 12 foot ceiling. The North walls will be bookcases, a library that leads to the basement.
The attic has one East and one West window and will hold a bedroom and a sewing/studio room. We got a great deal on the trusses because they were a misorder. The room has a low ceiling and required a change in the house plan, but it worked out perfectly for what we needed.
The basement is storage, a media room, and two 10x12 ft bedrooms. My daughter thinks this space is too small. I ask her, "Too small compared to what?" Thoreau's entire cabin wasn't much bigger than the space assigned to her room. She is comparing to her best friend's room. A friend that lives in a mini mansion in a gated community. Every time I pick her up or drop her off, I feel trapped as I wait for that gate to open to release me. Give me large spaces outside and small spaces with large windows inside. The dining room window is a 6x6 foot square that looks out on rolling pasture and the distant Wellsville Mountains. It is like a landscape painting the changes with the seasons. It will be interesting to see how many years pass before this view is gone by the progress of man.
This year we built stairs, put in the windows and doors, and got the plumbing and most of the wiring done.
Greg has friends who are fellow artisans working for themselves, they share their muscles and knowledge when needed, but most of the work (except for the roof raising)is completed solely by Greg with my weekend assistance.
2008 was for the most part a year of health and happiness.
I acquired a new boss, who brought many changes to our school. Charter schools are generally founded by a visionary, out-of-the-box thinking individual, who wants to create a dynamically different approach to education. Many times, these type of individuals have no clue about finances. A principal of a charter school is a CEO of a business as well as a director of education. It is a huge job, and our founding principal, like many other charter school principals, wasn't good with numbers. When the Board of Governors realized our school was quickly approaching bankruptcy, our founding principal "retired", and a teacher stepped up to act as principal until a qualified replacement could be found.
We lucked out and hired a guy who had a MBA and three years experience as a charter high school principal in Salt Lake City. He studied the finances and made major changes, the only way to save the school. We had a big beautiful expensive building. With same changes, we could function in half the space, sublease the other half, and save thousands of dollars in rent each month. One things that had to go was the school library, the Ameri VISTA positions, and all support staff but the special ed aides and one secretary who would need to take over the assignments of the four positions that were not being replaced. The school secretary had just had her first child, and decided to quit working and stay home. I then became the full time secretary, and even though the job I was going to school to become qualified for was gone, decided to continue with the program that I completely enjoyed and was half finished with. I managed to save the library in a greatly reduced state by moving it into a large corridor like hallway, which quickly became known as "Library Hall". Students would bring books to the office where I would check them out and use USU's library for research. This honor system library was better than nothing, it was used frequently, and we lost fewer books than I anticipated.
2006 Roof Raising
Thanks everyone who came to our Roof Raising Party and helped get the trusses up. We couldn't have done it without you.
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